HTC First: It’s your common-or-garden iPod touch/iPhone knock-off. Nothing remarkable about that.
But plenty of LOLs at the yawning, Silicon Valley-sized gulf between the techbloggers (“OMG! Facebook will steal YOUR SOUL AND YOUR CHILDREN AND YOUR PRECIOUS, PRECIOUS, PERSONAL DATA!”) and, well, everyone else (“It’s a phone. With Facebook. And Android. And it looks like an iPhone.”) I might be wrong, but I don’t think people actually care that much.
And you know what? I’m fine with that. But our real enemies are out there. Yes, they are. You know who I hate more than Facebook, Google, and the North Koreans, all put together? SEO consultants. Wankers.
(Disclosure: I have a Facebook account, and I use it a lot)
Alcatel One Touch Idol (yes, really): I don’t actually care. And neither should you.
(image from The Verge)
Huawei Ascend Mate: This phone is only two inches smaller on the diagonal than the iPad mini. Think about that for a minute.
(image from The Verge)
(image from Gizmodo)
Iphone: Ok, it’s almost Christmas. We’re tired, all a bit cranky, and we’ve been drinking mulled wine from breakfast since last Thursday. Let’s just pretend that this..thing didn’t happen, and start afresh in 2013, eh?
(image from MacRumours)
Shavetech: I don’t really want to spoil it for you, so go check it out yourselves. It’s “the newest standard in shaving”, apparently, although presumably a proprietary closed standard, and incompatible with your existing charging cables. If only Victor Kiam were still alive to see this.
From the verdict:
The iPhone 5 completely rebuilds the iPhone on a framework of new features and design, addressing its major previous shortcomings. It’s absolutely the best iPhone to date…
Sounds good! Here’s the positives:
The iPhone 5 adds everything we wanted in the iPhone 4S: 4G LTE, a longer, larger screen, and a faster A6 processor. Plus, its top-to-bottom redesign is sharp, slim, and feather-light.
Sprint and Verizon models can’t use voice and data simultaneously. The smaller connector renders current accessories unusable without an adapter. There’s no NFC, and the screen size pales in comparison to jumbo Android models.
What could have been, eh? If only it had a even more massive screen that no-one needs, a propreitory adaptor that has been around for so long that people think it is a standard, and a payment feature that, at least here in the UK, you can use approximately nowhere.
How do you get a five star review? Ask those who leave Amazon reviews. I urge you to watch this clip of John Gordillo at the Edinburgh Festival. Keep watching until the end.
(image from CNET)
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